Excerpt from The Daily Love

That’s ultimately what confidence is. It’s to act on what you know to be true.

And there are five steps to really develop and cultivate this confidence. 

The first step is admit the truth. Number one. Simple and easy. Admit the truth. Actually, I should take that back. It’s simple but not easy. When we admit the truth, “I don’t love you anymore,” “I eat Cinnabon every night before bed and wonder why I don’t lose weight,” or “I’m really struggling being a parent” (because no one’s supposed to admit that), or “I’m really having a hard time in this relationship,” or “I really hate my job,” whatever that truth is, you can’t have confidence if you’re lying to yourself. So the first thing is you have to admit what’s true for you.

And then do what my friend Mary Morrissey says: Do it afraid. Live your life afraid. It’s okay. The storms will come. The rise and the fall will come. The darkness will come. I’ve talked about this earlier that cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek. Do it afraid. It’s okay to do it afraid because when you do it afraid, you’ll start to recognize that life will prove your fears wrong. So you want to do it afraid.

Third, you want to surround yourself with people who support you. How could you possibly have confidence if you’re constantly surrounded by people who are talking crap about you? Think about that. If you’re surrounded by people who say, “You’re not enough. You’ll never amount to anything. You’re never going to do it anyway. This is all just a bunch of crap or bullshit,” or whatever it might be. Will you ever truly have self-confidence? The answer is I don’t think so. Right? So you want to start to consciously and intentionally surround yourself with people who can lift you up and who help you believe in yourself because you can certainly believe in yourself but you’ve got to have a tribe. Marianne Williamson calls this her Positivity Team. So you’ve got to have your Positivity Team or your tribe to help pick you back up when you doubt yourself, to remember how awesome you are.

And fourth, you want to celebrate the small wins. Let’s say you want to lose 100 pounds. You lost one pound – celebrate that! You’re one pound less! Let’s say that you want to make a million dollars and you made five – celebrate the $5. This really taps you into the attitude of abundance and gratitude because really big wins, quantum leaps in growth happen with a lot of little, tiny steps in between. So you want to get focused on celebrating and staying in that celebratory energy of celebrating the small wins. 

And then finally, Oprah said this and I thought it was so incredible what gives her confidence. She gets confidence by knowing that she is supported by a power greater than herself. So when you feel small and when you feel like you’re not enough, feel supported and know that you are supported by a power greater than yourself. This could be God or the Divine or Source or your Spirit Guides, whatever that word is for you – don’t get caught up in the semantics, but know that you are supported by a higher power. So, if the problem feels really big, what have you done to yourself? You’ve made yourself very small. So if you’re feeling small in the face of adversity or in the face of a problem, know that you have infinite intelligence – God, Source, Spirit, your Guides – there to support you. And so you can turn it over and say, “You know what, God? You know what, Source? You know what, Divine? I’m having a hard time with this. Back me up. I need your help.” And when you make that prayer, prayers are always answered the moment that they are received.

So to recap, admit the truth, do it afraid, surround yourself with people who lift you up, celebrate the little wins and lean on your higher power. If you do these things, you will certainly be on the path of confidence.

My Action Plan:

1. I will take my confidence back by preparing myself for success and expecting greatness when I fully apply myself. 

2. One grounded way that I’ll do this is honest journaling, gratitude board posts, and written prayers.

3. 2016 will be better structured in my purpose and utilizing my time wisely while keeping balance. My future life will be as Dr. Salomon in higher education or education consulting services of my own business. 


Share your action plan in the comments: 

1. Tell me how you are going to take your confidence back.

2. Name one grounded way that you will apply #1. (Be specific).

3. Imagine what 2016 will look like with this new habit, tell me what your life will look like one year from now if you apply #1 each and every day. 

Follow my 2016 moments, #Syn2016 on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram



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